Why is it so difficult to fully experience joy in our lives? My yoga teacher said something simple but profound in class the other day: Try to be happy for one consistent hour, and you'll see how difficult it can be. And what I think she means is when negative feelings/events intrude upon our lives, why can't we just let them go instead of dwelling on them? When I think about how much energy I spend on situations or people who really don't deserve it, it's amazing. So much time wasted! So much drama!
The joke about all things "new age" is this issue about trying to become "zen". It can sound so corny--in our fast-paced world, what does that even mean, being zen? Zen can be defined as trying to reach enlightenment through meditation and self-contemplation. People who practice yoga believe there is something fundamentally important about aligning your body, mind, and soul, and trying to achieve inner peace and calm. It's probably the most difficult thing to do in life (and in practice), especially when we have 5,000 things pulling us in different directions, not to mention the headaches of bills, families, relationships, and health concerns. How do we reach this state of zen?
One way is to identify the negative factors that affect our lives and work to change them. It continues to amaze me that we not only allow bad or irritating things to have an impact on our day-to-day living, but we become so used to those things that we don't even see them any more. And it can be difficult to look at things honestly and see them for what they really are--a weight. How would we feel if we shed those weights, be they physical (that last 10 pounds I'd like to see off my belly), or mental? How often have I looked at that stack of books I need to move in my bedroom and just ignored them? Now they're almost invisible to me. How can we try to reach a state of inner peace and strength if we have "junk" weighing us down?
I'll give two examples in my own life. For the past month I've been on a kick to "feng shui" my life--organize, shift, and clean out stuff I don't need. This started on a physical level: I have a study in my condo that was just filled with junk. I have a huge desk with overflowing paperwork, and on the floor were luggage, shopping bags, wrapping paper, clothing--stuff! It was taking over my den. I'd had enough, so last weekend I cleaned it out and tossed stuff I didn't need. It was so liberating! Next step is to go through the desk and toss that junk too. Now every time I pass by my room (which I do often...it's a small condo!) I get a little thrill. One accomplishment finished! It gives me a level of indescribable satisfaction. I now have the space to lay down my yoga mat and practice more than once a week. Now if only I could keep the rest of the house as neat...
Example number 2 also happened last weekend, but on an emotional level. I was involved in a relationship that wasn't particularly satisfying, but had been going on (in one form or another) for over 2 years. It ended (not by my choice), and kind of threw me for a loop. The fact that it ended in its current state is a blessing in disguise--we were not a good match, and the relationship was unhealthy. But I still felt feelings of anger, resentment, and disappointment--not necessarily reasonable, but there they were, just the same. And most of all, I was resisting the change to our relationship that I knew would happen. But now that it's been a week, I feel a sense of peace. I've raged about it to my friends and my mom, but it's helped me to let it (and him) go. I don't need him as a backup plan or to be a major part of my life anymore. There's a joy in knowing you and you alone are responsible for your happiness, and ultimately your life. I was using our relationship as a barometer for whether I was happy or not. And I spent so much time trying to make him happy and being unhappy in the process.
So here I am. Clean den. Totally single. Pretty healthy. Bob is doing great. Holidays are coming up and family will be here. Everything is falling into place, and I feel like I'm open and willing to experience not only job, but satisfaction with things. Right in time for New Year's and resolutions...oh no! Bring on inner enlightenment!
This wasn't a very yoga-centric post--I'll get back to that next time, I promise! And hopefully by then I will have given my new "yoga" space in my den a test run!
Until then, try to reach your Zen potential!
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